Wine and nibbles……..

Just been to a book promotional lecture with Professor Paul Gilbert launching his latest book, The Compassionate Mind.  Really enjoyable evening; met loads of people to talk with, including some people I haven’t seen for ages.  I bumped into an ex-client (from work) who looked really well, and it was very nice to see someone happier and better in themselves – I only really ever see people at their most depressed or manic, or psychotic, so it’s good to see someone well.

Skyping along……

Had a lovely natter with Joy - I love Skype, and whoever came up with the concept should be given a Nobel prize for promoting contact with families and friends… or something nice like that.  It’s just so good to be able to chat to someone without worrying about the phonebill, and even better to be able to see them while you talk.  Jake woke up while we were talking, so Joy went and to him sat on her lap – he’s a real cutie (big long eyelashes and a cheeky giggle).  Just need to get Mum’s webcam issues sorted now and then she can see the wee man too for a chat (or giggle).

Everywhere’s filled with Xmas stuff, and has been for what seems like months.  We were in the garden centre last weekend and half the floor space was given up for Christmas tat (and the Santa grotto with an unhappy looking elf).  I wish it wouldn’t start until, say, the beginning of December.  It all just seems a bit too much.  Or maybe I’m getting old…….

Busy at work at the moment, and a chunk of my time seems to be taken up with adult protection issues or clients with child custody/child protection issues.  It would be all rather depressing if you let it get to you, so I’m trying not to.

The number of people coming to the Wednesday night meditation class seems to be growing, which is nice – we have a new teacher, Lekchog, who is settling in to teaching her new group really well, and I’m enjoying doing the classroom assistant role.  Lekchog is really nice, probably about my age, and has only been ordained for a few years.  She’s interesting to talk with, and it’s good to get a different perspective on life – I don’t really know that many ordained people in any faith, never mind Buddhism, and it’s always interesting to get a glimpse into a lifestyle that’s quite different to mine.

A calm day out……

Debs and I spent Saturday at Tara Centre on a day course with teachings and medications on dealing with anger.  It was a really good day, focussing on identifying anger in many different forms, resolving to meditate on compassion and patience, and to try to practice this in our daily life.  Paul came and found me at lunchtime and gave me a mala that Chöwang had left for me before she went to Singapore.  That was very nice and thoughtful of her, and I must try to get an email address for her so that I can thank her.

This calm and peaceful day was followed by Dan and Alex staying over and us all spending the night in the pub.  I had a few glasses of wine and Rob had a few pints, but Dan and Alex decided that they were going to drink their way along the bar.  It got a bit messy, and there were two very hungover people in the house this morning.

I got to have a really nice chat with Joy on Thursday night (I think) – she and Joel are fine and Jake’s doing very well now he’s over his colic.  Well, apart from the fact that he’d just been for his jags and was a bit pissed off that someone stabbed him in his chubby leg with a needle.

A contemplative weekend…..

Tara Centre

  I spent the weekend at the Tara Centre for the UK Dharma Celebration.  It was very busy, but peaceful.  Lots of meditating and teachings which were interesting and thought-provoking.  Met lots of nice people to chat about teachings and dharma with.  Saturday was the Empowerment of Arya Tara, which was a new experience for me.  It’s all given me a lot to think about, and I’m interested in exploring Buddhism.  I’m not sure about some of the more esoteric aspects, and I struggle with the concept of generating faith, but that’s what you get being a godless Westerner.

 

 

 

 

 

Green Tara

I’d like to say that a peaceful thoughtful weekend put me in a better state of mind to cope with work – and it did; right up to the phone call at lunchtime from the client who stabbed themselves whilst they were on the phone talking to me.  Yup.  With a knife, in a big self-harm sort of way.  In an omigod I’m calling an ambulance now sort of way.

Wet wet wet……….

I cannot believe what an abysmal summer it has been.  It’s just been shite – grey, dull, rain, thunderstorms, high winds.  Every time I’ve planned to spend time on the weekend doing something in/to the garden, it’s pissed down.  Today, I tried to continue with the digging on the flowerbed I’ve been working on at the Tara Centre, but the rain was so heavy, I gave up after about an hour and a half.  About 30 minutes in, I discovered that my waterproof was not, and that my pants were wet.  By the time I gave up, I looked like a drowned rat – Chöwang thought it was rather amusing (until I dripped on the floor).  However, I’ve sorted out some time off on Wednesday next week to go and get it finished before the UKDC starts on Thursday.

I had taken the camera with me to get some photos of the Tara Centre, as it’s such a lovely old building, but the rain put paid to that.  Perhaps we can pop down over the weekend, have a coffee (and buns), and get some nice pics.

A new Scot/Kiwi?

Well, we’re all waiting – the arrival of the latest addition to the family is near.  Joy’s gone in to hospital in Invercargill and, as far as we all know, it’s only a matter of time.  We all know it’s a wee boy, we just don’t know what name Joy and Joel have chosen yet.  I’m all in favour of following the family tradition and picking a name beginning with either “J” or “K” (with the notable exception of my brother “B”).  We’ll make allowances for Mum cos she’s a hard sounding “C” which might as well be a “K.”  Anyway, I’m sure he’ll be fine whatever they call him.  We spent the other weekend on t’internet ordering stuff for the wee bugger (he’s turning out to be an expensive child already) and I’ve been finding myself wandering round the shops looking at baby clothes (aaarrrgghh).  I must say, the choice of decent looking clothes for small boys seems a bit limited when you compare it to the vast amount of frothy pastelness that is girlie clothing – girls seem to have a HUGE amount of choice.  Well, their parents do.  I doubt that you care less at that age.  The boys stuff seems to either be blue or green, and to have cars/trucks or sporting paraphenalia stiched onto it.  And that seems to be it.

Meditation classes are finishing in a few weeks for the summer, which is a pain, and I’ll miss it.  However, there’s a few day courses on and the UK Dharma festival weekend in September to look forward to.

Summer is most definately not happening in this part of the world.  We’ve had a couple of nice days (whilst I’ve been at work) and now it just seems to be raining an awful lot.  Bah.

And there was much rain

It’s done nothing but wee down all last night and today, which is a bit dull.  Mind you, I’ve managed to do lots of cleaning, tidying and washing, which just goes to show what an exciting life I lead at weekends.  Rob’s working today so won’t arrive until 7ish and then we shall eat and run over to the pub (mmmm….wine).

It’s been a rather normal week, but I did manage to nip along to the last meditation class in Derby before Xmas to see what it was all about.  I quite enjoyed it – 2 guided meditations, with a general discussion in between on the subject of the meditation (different every week).  The sessions don’t start up again until February, but I think I will make an effort and trundle along.  Certainly made me think anyway.

Finally got an email from Joy yesterday – pregnancy going fine as far as I can work out, apart from the fact that she’s permanently knackered and feeling sick.  Sounds like fun.  Speaking as someone who has no children (nor do I intend to), the nine months of feeling bleurrggghhh  are worth it I guess!  Hopefully, she won’t feel like shite for the whole pregnancy – that’d be horrible.  She also let me know that she’s finally got her residency sorted for New Zealand, so that’s excellent – no more feeling like an illegal immigrant for her!

Parsley has taken to crawling under the duvet and dozing during the day – odd cat.  He seems to like hiding under it.  Unfortunately, this makes changing the bedlinen hazardous, as he tries to get under the sheets and leaps around like a loony while you’re wrestling with the duvet cover.  Mad.  He’s quite mad.

Ommmmmmmm

Well, I can honestly say that that was 60-odd quid well spent.  For anyone that is interested in meditation (or Buddhism), the introduction to meditation weekend at the Tara Centre in Derbyshire is well worth it.  Can’t remember when I last had a weekend that was so relaxing yet thought provoking.  The course isn’t specifically aimed at people who are looking to pursue an interest in Buddhism, but the meditations are taught from that perspective.

I’ve often used breathing relaxation techniques combined with visualisation to chill out when stressed, but this gave me a whole lot more to think about in terms of what the purpose of meditation can be – to still the mind, and how to use meditation to work towards increasing happiness, which is defined as only truly coming from within.  Having worked in mental health services for years, and hearing the frequent cry of “I’m unhappy.  Make me happy” or “I’m unhappy because he/she/they/the Government (insert persons of your choice) did this/made me do this,” I often want to yell at people and tell them to take responsibility for themselves.  For years I have truly believed that life is what you make it, not what you allow yourself to believe others “do” to you or make you do/think/react.  That’s the easy option; to say “you said this and made me feel like this,”  If you want to hang on to anger, hate, jealousy and all those other crappy feelings then that’s your choice – you can choose to take a different path.  I’m not saying it’s easy.  It’s not.  I spent years hating, resenting and feeling generally bitter towards a close family member.  It took me a long time and a lot of thinking to get to a place now where I am not hateful, resentful or bitter about their actions towards me and others.  I haven’t forgiven them – that’s a long way off and I’m not even sure it’s for me to forgive, so I mostly feel fairly neutral towards them.  That’s a lot better that carting around bad feelings towards someone, when ultimately they are indifferent to my feelings and opinions, and the only person I harm by thinking that way is myself.

Anyway, back to the point of this ramble, which was to say that I realised a different way of looking at life this weekend.  I don’t mean a bolt from the blue blinding flash revelation sort of thing, more a coalescing of thoughts I’ve been pondering for a long time now.  That meditation on virtue is a useful and positive way of looking at life, and with practice, may enable me to be more happy and content in myself, which, lets face it, is really what most of us want out of life.

Fun in the Sun……

Giant Moray Eel

……but not in rainy grey Derbyshire.  It’s that fine light rain, where you don’t notice being wet until it’s too late, if you know what I mean.  Smirr, we call it at home.  Driving home, stuck on the A38, I went off into a daydream of being back in Sharm, throwing myself off the back of the boat and down, down into the world of the fish and coral.  It’s the closest thing you’ll ever get to being in space, I reckon, but with lots more interesting things to look at, like the very interesting peppered morays that we found, or the Red Sea garden eels, which I had never seen before.  A bit like wavery bits of string or thick licorice, undulating up from their burrows on a patch of sand (that was slightly deeper than we’d anticipated).  On the same dive, we found a baby Lionfish, sheltering in the lee of some coral – very small, very sweet.

Ah well, back to the rain, although hopefully there will now be less of that in my kitchen now that the nice men have been and fixed it.  The most professional of all the roofers who came to quote (out of the ten or so that I called, most of whom didn’t bother to turn up to do their arranged quote.  The buggers) got the job.  Unlike the other one who actually did bother to turn up, these guys at least got a ladder out and ferreted around on the roof.  The other guy said he had forgotten to bring his ladder (?!)

I am looking forward to a quiet weekend of meditation – for better or for worse, I have booked myself on an Introduction to Meditation weekend at a local Buddhist centre.  I live in hope that it will give me some techniques I can practice and use to reduce my stress levels and generally learn to chill out more.